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I’ve been watching and playing endless hours of My So Called Life and Left 4 Dead 2. I hate winter & being broke… with NO CAR! =(

"As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, buckle up and just keep going."

“All love shifts and changes. I don’t know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time.”

Last night I stayed up until nearly 11:00 in the morning. I found this note my boyfriend wrote to himself when he was going to leave me (before my accident). It said something about “pursuing the one he was thinking of…” (instead of me). I confronted him about it and, of course, he lies and says he intended it to be read by me and to essentially, make me mad. Which I know is complete bullshit.

He’s so quick to point out the things I’ve done to hurt him (most of which he completely overreacts over because of jealousy, control, and trust issues) but when it comes to things he’s done to hurt me, he’ll get angry if I bring anything up.

This relationship can be so confusing.

Zoloft. Day 2.

I don’t feel as weird when I take them. I feel myself getting less angry at things I’d usually be furious over. I just don’t want to gain a million pounds!

I think I’ve discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.

Finally made a call that I should’ve days ago. I’ve been broke for so long but at least I’ll be getting almost 4 unemployment checks at once! Balllerr! Yeah right, I owe my boyfriend so much money in rent and I’ll probably give my mom $100. just bc she helps me out with all my credit card bills… which would leave me with maybe $200. or so, I can’t complain.

I’m really not looking forward to school starting. With no car, I’m going to go absolutely nuts. I guess that’s what I get for being so wreckless… I still have to schedule an appointment with a therapist, which I’m dreading… I’m thinking I’ll skip out on that part since I don’t really think there’s anything wrong with me besides the drinking and the anxiety.

Which reminds me, I start on Zoloft today. I took it a few days ago at the hospital and it made me feel… out of touch. I was happy, I was okay with going out to dinner but everything seemed so hazy. I guess it was only the first day .. I’ll try it out. Anything to make me more comfortable around people without being trashed has to be a good thing.